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Crafted by the Higher Power, prided by Self-will

After going through my own endeavors of unwelcomed turmoils here i stand, healthy and with sound mind.

Drugs was my need then. Marijuana in school days and jumped into chemicals during college. Incarcerated for years, relapsed, rehabilitated for months and typing my emotions with the fingers of a recovering addict. From making my parents cry in front of the strangers, embarrassing my beloved wife in front of her colleagues and letting them hear the insincere pities and sympathies, i have come a very long way. 

I am few months shy of turning 31 and still i need tender cares and monitoring. I am certain i wont befall into drugs but they fear i may. Why shouldn't they as i have set innumerable instances in the past. 

Changing myself isn't for them, its personally for myself and in the end of the day caring myself is one way of telling them i love them. If i am clean and healthy, that's what they want from me, 

I pray no matter how long i be jobless, how fierce and fragile my love-life become with my wife, even if my parents disinherit me because of my incompetence, however hopeless in my own purpose that i may never fall back to drugs.

My HAD years were ruin, but i am working for My HAVE years to be a building. A building of a simple, ordinary human being crafted by the Higher Power and prided by self-will. 

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