I stood silent, still i am.
I dont wanna name her, just my ex wife. Yea she have been with me in bad times but not as much as she ought to be.
Last September she confessed she would never be with me..that she had other man.
I was drowned in air, breatheless and i mean it literally. I nearly fell. See the thing is i trusted her so much..loved her, loved her even more as the mother of my daughter. See i spent almost a decade with her as her husband. In those times i had failed her a lot but she hadn't the slightest idea of what sacrifices i made. I did sacrificed a lot just to be her husband. Going against family, against all odds and i am pretty sure she had her fair share of sacrifices. And we did our relation perfect. Yea of course some failures here and there as it is in every relation.
That moment when she said she had another man without a flinch i was all hell burning. I didnt sleep for nights, refusing nourishment and tears. I pleaded her to come back..not for me but for our daughter. But she was blinded by that mans true love which expired recently.
Yeah..i can fairly put i am moving on but i cant deny that the tauma of that emotional blackout lingers somewhere in this 300 gram weighing heart and somewhere in a lobe of my brain that recalling it or mere sound of sentimental songs brings unmeasurable pain of loss. And trust me no souls would love it.
And when she asks u wanna give a chance? ?.. i felt a pang of her inhumane sporting. Like in those periods of gloom when i was crying like a kid, listening to sad songs till 5 am in the morning and asking her to come back in my life just as the respiratory systems would do in the absence of oxygen and i am not a inch closer to exaggeration, and now wanna give a chance?? Like those suicidal thoughts that haunted me in wee hours oh god come on and she ask wanna give a chance again??.. seriously ?? Like those times were just a scene in a movie. God dammit i was there in the centre of all above expressed and u ask wanna give a chance??😓
Yea we hav a daughter in between but no! No more. I am in a mess, and i dont want to be in a mess again. I love you but dont want u to come back.
Thank u for being with me.
Please understand
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